It's not like I thought I needed to suddenly lead a life of high adventure life (I'm not a fan of heights or many death defying feats). Yet I knew there were many things that I wanted to do or try, but stopped myself out of fear. Perhaps I didn't even know I was fearful. It was more a feeling of not knowing if it would ever be able to happen. I knew it was time to start exploring to find out!
Over time, I have seen things happen that I've wished could for years and I'm finding so much joy in watching it unfold. YET, it's still scary at times -- sometimes even each day. Here's an example:
Teaching Yoga -- I'm now a certified yoga instructor and am about to embark on a new teaching schedule at Perfect Union with 5 classes a week -- yay! (I even have a new website!) How did this all come to be? Easy peasy, right? No, not at all.
First I had to stop telling myself that I couldn't possibly fit in a 200-hour yoga teaching training experience. How could I? This was a HUGE commitment and took up almost every weekend I had for 6 months. (Not to mention, but I am actually mentioning, the yoga classes I attended throughout the week so I could practice yoga with a variety of instructors). I had to break through that barrier of telling myself it wouldn't work and (imagine a person with a machete' hacking down tall weeds in a huge field) one weekend after another, make sure that it did work. (I only missed one workshop -- and that was for my daughter's baby shower 800 miles away). I also had to talk to people who supported my idea to help build my confidence for doing it when my own started to waver.
It was a little frightening making that first step to take the course, even though I was super excited to do it. The day I first walked into Santa Cruz Yoga for the training, I literally felt my knees buckle and almost collapsed, wanting to turn around, run to my car, and drive back home. I remember this voice in my head loudly crying, "What am I doing? I can't do this! I don't belong here." I felt this fear of not belonging as I saw all these much younger, certainly "hip"'per yoga students leaving from the previous yoga class. I was so sure I wasn't right for this -- I was too old and just didn't fit in. Remembering that it was actually a good thing to do something that scared me, I did the yoga thing and just calmly breathed my way into the entrance of the studio, stood in line to sign in for the class, smiled to the others around me as if all was well and made my way onto my mat.
Going forward that day has brought me so many moments of joy, peace and innumerable blessings. I absolutely LOVED the experience. Were there more moments of fear along the way? Most certainly -- in fact, at least one each day we trained together and some at home. But I pushed through them, literally feeling at times like I was standing at the side of the swimming pool when I knew the water was a little too cold for my liking, but that I really did want to get in. I just had to close my eyes to that initial unpleasant feeling and just jump.
I've been doing the same thing the past few months while looking into teaching yoga in my little town that has hardly any yoga opportunities (for students or for teachers). I decided if I just did one little thing each day that could bring me closer to finding a teaching situation that worked well for me, it was time well spent. Fast forward maybe only 6 weeks and all of these little efforts have brought me some new friends that I cherish and will be working with (just as valuable to me as the teaching opportunity) and a new schedule of teaching yoga in a fabulous location 5-6 times a week not far from my home. Life is good!
If you haven't tried setting aside your fears to see what you can accomplish, do it. You may hit a few walls, but more often than not, you will find yourself learning and growing and doing things that will bring you great joy! Have at it and let me know how it goes! TTFN!
Lululemon bag photo by Onada via Flickr Creative Commons
Brick Wall photo by Neville Nels via Flickr Creative Commons
Yoga Workshop photo by Tawnya Gilbert
Swimming Pool photo by Althea Rose via Flickr Creative Commons
Such an inspiring post. I absolutely believe that doing things that scare you is the best way to free yourself. I got rid of my shyness with that strategy, and of many other fears.
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